Takanobaka

Or if SumoCrazy is Ryan D. Evans....

2 jokes, playing off themes from the previous ones.... Three couples are together in their gas-guzzling SUV, attempting one of those scenic drives they always see in the commercials. Unfortunately, they forgot to read the disclaimer at the bottom of the screen that says "professional driver on closed course - do not attempt", and they all think about the lovely views as they plummet off the side of the mountain to their death... Suddenly, the six have arrived at the pearly gates of heaven, face to face with the visage of St. Peter himself. "Michael", says the saint, calling out for one of the men, "Tell me why you deserve to go to heaven. "Well, good St. Peter, I have always tried to be the best person I can. Whenever I had the opportunity, I donated money to charity. In the 20 years of our marriage, I never once cheated on my wife, nor did I ever lay a finger on my children. I came from humble beginnings, and managed to stay good and humble the rest of life, despite my success, so I think I should be allowed into heaven." "But Michael" bellowed St. peter, "there is one detail you have left out. You were a raging alcoholic. Every day of your adult life you spent as much time at the bar as possible, wasting away your life for what could have been much better. You loved your alcohol so much that you even married a woman named Sherry. 500 years of purgatory for you!" As Michael went sulking off to the long escalator down, the Saint called for the second man and asked him the same question. "Well St. Peter" said the man, "I certainly was not alcoholic. In fact, I never touched a drop or alcohol, nor any drugs or tobacco in my entire life. Also, I loved my family and helped provide very well for them, and I think I was a good enough man to deserve a shot at heaven..." "BUT", St. Peter interrupted, "you absolutely loved your money. You spent your entire life trying to accumulate massive wealth, and then would only hold onto it like the miser you were. You loved money so much you married a woman named Penny. 500 years of purgatory for you as well!" St. Peter called for the third man, but did not see him until he caught him already travelling down the escalator. "It's really no use, Fanny...." A bird is flying along in the frigid winter of Finland (why not?), but slowly feels its power being sapped from it as the bitter wind pounds it. Eventually, its wings freeze open, and it glides to the groundfully aware of its impending doom. As the bird lies there frozen, a dog walks up to the bird. "Mr. Dog, please help take me somewhere warm. I am unable to move and I will die out here if you don't help" pleaded the little songbird. The dog took a few sniffs, decided it wasn't worth it, and instead took a big crap on the bird. Miffed at the situation, the bird sat there, but it becan to notice the warm squishy feeling between its feathers. The warm stink was melting the ice between its frozen wings, and the bird was once again able to move. So happy, the bird began whistling a beautiful tune. Walking along and hearing the sound of the bird, a curious cat comes up to the bird. "Mr. Cat, I'm warm and I can wiggle my wings, but I can't fly. Could you please get me out of this pile of dung and help me fly away?" The cat obliged, wiping all the excrement off of the bird, only to promptly eat it. Moral of the story: Not everyone that gets you into sh*t is your enemy, and not everyone that gets you out of it is your friend!

Few more I've seen.... Gas station in Tampa: "The best place to take a leak" Bathroom wall in Stratford on Avon: "Sex was a pain in the arse....until I discovered women" Leaving Hope, Arizona: "You are now beyond Hope" And of course, from my hopetown of Clearwater Fl... *Edit* OK, image wouldn't load...here's the link http://www.roadtripamerica.com/signs/fu-king.htm

It was definately a pain in the neck....my roommate was stuck in the elevator for 2 hours when the blackout hit! Myself, I didn't have a flashlight, but managed to set up tea candles in teh staircases and hallways of our building (although I only live on the 4th floor....33rd sounds like it would be horrible). Still, I did wahat any self-respecting Amercian would do and got drunk in the local bar, drinking warm beer, smoking cigarettes (they fortunately didn't enforce the smoking ban during the blackout), and stumbling around the place like a crazed lunatic. Unfortunately, where I was (east Village) the power was out for 2 full days....really weird when I stumbnled out of the bar with no power to look about 3 blocks north where all the lights were already back on. That gave me a catch-22: smoking vs. cold beer. Of course, the nicotine prevailed....

USA here too (New York City), but hopefully defecting to Peru in the next 10 years....

Its reply was no (In a bad mood...)

I think he'll have some serious injury before he hits 20. First off, it is statistically improbable that it won't happen. Second, he does not seem to handle injuries (even relatively minor ones) very well...it seems to deflate his spirit. Additionally, he just doesn't have the physique to protect himself as well as some others. While he has excellent balance and quickness, his knees look fairly weak and it only takes one big guy to roll him over funny to knock him out for 6-10 months. Finally, part of the reason for his current greatness may hurt him....his ability and willingness to use unorthodox techniques may end up biting him in the butt....part of the reason many of them are used less frequently is because they present a much higher chance of injury during or after execution. Still, he'll be remembered as a great yokozuna, but the sentences may end up ending with 'what if...' more often than not...

I said Kaio....I knew he was still healing up from the end of last basho, and his reputation as a choker precedes him, but I never would have thought less than 10 wins, much less only 7...

Just to reveal my own choice, I went with Kotooshu. As pat Riley once said "you can't teach size" and this guy will be an absolute behoemoth when he's done filling out. Even without having put on the weight yet, he's been doing extremely well, especially considering that he's been doing sumo for a muchshorter time period than many of the others. While some others are showing better technical sumo right now, I think he'll be learning as quickly as he'll be growing. Like I've said before, he reminds me some of a young Akebono, and one can hope that he too will have that kind of success.

Quick explanation: during keiko... Yoavoshimaru-zeki: just a guess....I really have no clue, but that answer was just too ridiculous to pass up...

BTW, just to explain the earlier reference, I'm calling Takanotsuru Bubba Ho-Tep for the time being. For those who don't know, Bubba Ho-Tep is a new cult movie in which a 60 year old Elvis battles mummies; however, Bruce Campbell in Elvis makeup strangely resembles Takanotsuru.... First poll I'd made, so I didn't realize about the apostrophe glitch. Sorry about that.

Hopefully this will generate a bit more discussion than the Ozeki polls... Also, I left out people who have already been up to high juryo and makunouchi, hence no bubba ho-tep, and those below (and hence no Hoshikaze). I still probably forgot a couple of promising guys, but I'll explain my pick in a bit...

I voted for "soap tastes funny"

I don't forsee things changing until the new rules kick in.... Personally, I think a better poll would be which basho do you think will be the first with a changed Ozeki situation, but I'm too darn lazy to post it....

1. I suspect trapezius (upper back/shoulder muscles) 2. Wakanosato tries for Migi-yotsu and tochinonada tries to sidestep 3. Sotogake sounds right... After a little research (thanks to one of your previous posts (Feeling guilty...) ) I vote for Gojoro being weak here 4. Wakanohana 5. Iwakiyama - B 6. I think A, but it's hard to tell on video feeds, and I'm usually too drunk to notice by the time he gets on if I'm there live... 7. Gojoro OWNS all the Wakas (save a certain Sekiwake) - D (although he's better against Wakakosho) 8. B 9. C (Only because Yuichi was so emphatic about it...I really have no clue) 10. It's gotta be C. I thought I read something about him knocking Wakanosato unconscious a long time ago, but I could see Toki getting one of his thrusts redirected into himself. (hehe total shot in the dark) I fully acknowledge my lack of knowledge - Exalted Moron

And this, my friends, would be why Excite (or babelfish for that matter) isn't the best way to translate... In any case, I personally fully support these moves. And since (as Mike Wesseman might say) I KNOW that Kitanoumi Richijo is reading this post, this means he won't change his mind (Feeling guilty...) My only potential qualm is the addition of 4 more salaried ranks when NSK is supposedly not doing very well financially. On the other hand, if booting subpar performers down and giving more opportunity for lower ranked popular rikishi to become perennial Sekiwake (read: Robocop) will increase revenues, then the move should be one that's positive all the way around.

Yes and no.....crying has a very different cultural role there, though it probably would be better to see happy tears than tears of disappointment

I went with the vast majority as well....that 33-win plateau seems to be set in rock lately. However, I know that other Ozeki's performance shouldn't be a factor, but there may be a chance that they'll promote him with 32 if the current trend continues where one or two Ozeki end up kadoban every single tournament. It's a real longshot, but if they crowd the top a bit more they may be able to resolve that situation, guaranteeing that one of the 'less worthy' ozeki will get knocked back down. Then again, I still think that's unlikely, and the trade-off of having an even further weakened position for a few basho may not be a burden the kyokai wants to bear...

I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up for a Hoshitango comeback anytime soon....

I'm guessing you mean Wakakosho here, though congrats to Wakatoryu on his Sandanme yusho! I have a feeling that Takekaze will get caught in the ringer here. He'll be back in Makuuchi soon enough....he certainly has the talent level to at least be on the high-low Maegashira yoyo, and he'd possibly even be Sanyaku by now if not for that untimely injury. Also, I doublt Kotomitsuki will end up any higher than M1E, though more likely as M1W with Iwakiyama as M1E, and Tochinonada and Takamisakari each moving up their respectable spots to the Komusubi. Then again, GTB's a way's away still...

this is :-D but on a side note.... This one strikes me as absurd. Today, the Olympics removed caffeine from its banned substances list. CAFFEINE!?!?! You mean to tell me that olympic athletes couldn't drink a coke or take headache medicine because it contained a banned substance!? That, however, does lead to one other reason this issue probably got tabled....where to set the limit. Whenever a system is instituted, they probably won't want to limit it solely to anabolic steroids (Andro and Human growth hormone come to mind as a couple of others that could especially create problems within sumo). Between veiled threats of a strike, waning popularity (until the economy turns around hopefully), and feuds in the media, NSK probably mostly felt like it didn't need any more negative publicity than it's already getting. I'm sure the issue will be addressed someday, but it will either be way down the road or when a popular rikishi suddenly dies from a supplement related death (if that gets exposed by the media)...

Yeah, and Kurt Rightmyer-zeki is the next governor of California!

Personally, I prefer Exalted Moron.... (Enjoying a beer...) (I am with smart...) I think the rationale behind the name is pretty self-expalantory, but during my time in Japan I seemed to pick up baka as an unofficial nickname.... One other Shikona I know (just for spits and giggles) is that Kokkai is the Japanese name for the Black Sea, the region where Republic of Georgia is located. Not too sure of the context, but it can't be half as bad as when every Native American baseball player was nicknamed "Chief"...

Somehow I feel like there should be a thread connect here to the one about the spots on Kaio's back (Enjoying a beer...) (kidding, seriously) Even if steroids aren't being used so much, there almost certainly are some hormones being used. Yeah, the diet and lifestyle can get you big, but it usually doesn't happen so suddenly that your body is immediately unable to handle the weight. Anyone else notice how injuries seem more prevalent over the past decade or so (and hairier rikishi, Jesse aside)... As far as Bob Sapp goes, it's such a given that it doesn't even need to be discussed, much the same way as nobody said anything about Hulk Hogan back in the 80's. Besides, K1 is really only part entertainment and part bloodsport....nothing that the sanctity needs to be protected for anyhow....

Looks like the PMM took another hit today.....Pro-Hayateumi Movement anyone??? (Enjoying a beer...)