Sumo Limericks (in case Haikus are not your thing)

[Ichimawashi]

There was a rikishi named Abi
Who got tired of old chanko nabe
"I shall go out and dine
Screw the virus, I'm fine!"
Kyokai: "not so fast, Kemosabe!"

(Source: someone typed the first line on the Day 3 Mbovo stream and 20 minutes later I had it completed)

[Yamanashi]

There was a rikishi named Sho,

Who learned how to make every throw,

He sure gets my vote,

For being the GOAT,

(He also goes by Hakuho)

[Ichimawashi]

Konosuke’s “Te wo tsuite!”
Angers some but for most is OK
If your tachiai drags
You deserve all his slags
Get your fists down please, sometime today!

[Ichimawashi]

That Kokugikan lass in the corner
Could not possibly look more forlorner
Sitting seiza for hours
Like a bouquet of flowers
A mask and purse (matching) adorn her

[Godango]

I don't mean to be an impugner,
And I only mean this in good humour,
But Takakeisho aside,
There is little bright side,
To this basho with no yokozuna.

 

Edited November 16, 2020 by Houmanumi

[Kintamayama]

There once was a rikishi named Ura

Who felt just a bit insecura

On the dohyo he stoot

With both knees kaput

But we'll always love him, for sure-a

 

 

[Oshirokita]

There once was a rikishi, I'm told

Who wore a mawashi of gold

He broke every record

But his glory was chequered

When injuries proved he was old

[Oshirokita]

Sit down, let me tell you a story

Of Aminishiki's technical glory

He broke but would not bend-oh

And then he met Endo

Winning technique: ashitori

Edited November 17, 2020 by Oshirokita
Ref: 2015.01 Day 3

[Kintamayama]

They say Ichinojou’s anemic

And possibly even bulemic

He changed his shikona

To Covid Corona

And now he's a worldwide pandemic.

Edited November 17, 2020 by Kintamayama

[Ichimawashi]

Spare a thought for poor Enho this basho
Getting tossed on his ass with a crasho
Landing hard on the floor
If it happens much more
He'll resemble a work by Picasso....

[hakutorizakura]

Nice 

What are the rules for limericks?

[Ichimawashi]

What are the rules for limericks?

Five lines, rhyming scheme is a a b b a

Lines 1 2 and 5 are longer and have two three-syllable "bits" in the middle, with an intro of 1-2 syllables and a tag of 1-3 syllables:

There [was a ri-] [kishi named] Abi

Lines 3 and 4 are shorter and have only one three-syllable "bit" in the middle, but the same freedom of intro and tag syllables:

I shall [go out and] dine
Screw the [vi-rus, I'm] fine

The three-syllable bits have accents on the first syllable.  This is probably the most important Limerick rule: the underlying rhythm defined by the bits is quite important to the form.  The accents don't need to be strong accents but they need to be audible when recited.

It's usually a good idea to have the same number of tag syllables in lines 1, 2, and 5.

The first line often states a proper name or a place that will be rhymed in the other lines.  Nantucket limericks are plentiful....

The fifth line is usually a punch line and takes everything in an unexpected direction.

Many are quite risque, but we may wish to avoid that here, or hide such elements.

Edited November 19, 2020 by Ichimawashi

[Ichimawashi]

What's the deal with M17e?
This year three of five yusho, could be
Fear of dropping to Juryo
Makes you battle with fury?  Or
Are opponents down there apt to flee?

 

On Mbovo's stream most every day
Someone asks, why no weight classes, eh?
I would like to reply
With a sarcastic sigh
That there's one: under 500k!

 

Here's what really takes place in a mono-ii:
The top shimpan asserts his autonomy
If he hates what he saw
He'll declare it a draw
Do it over now boys, torinaoshi!

[Akinomaki]

Hak'ho he is yokozuna
but all the wolves get him sooner
as there will be Olympics
if it's kyujo what he picks
and he's not helped by Fortuna

[Seiyashi]

I don't recall limericks making allowances for accents  That said, having access to Japanese makes it really easy to do the ending rhymes in English!

Also, I'd like all the posts in this thread, but out of reacts (again)...

There was a rikishi named Terunofuji
Whose signature technique was kimedashi
He'll wrap your elbows up tight
Force you out to your right
If you stupidly try to morozashi

Edited November 19, 2020 by Seiyashi

[Akinomaki]

21 minutes ago, Seiyashi said:

I don't recall limericks making allowances for accents

The accent represents the silent Japanese u

[Seiyashi]

10 minutes ago, Akinomaki said:

33 minutes ago, Seiyashi said:

I don't recall limericks making allowances for accents

The accent represents the silent Japanese u

Nah, I meant Kintamayama's pseudo-Italian limerick.

[Ichimawashi]

Limericks that break the rules sometimes are the best...this one is quite well known:

There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
And when they asked why,
He said "I do try!
But when I get to the last line I try to fit in as many words as I possibly can."

 

:)

 

[Akinomaki]

Ozeki alone Takakeisho
and he till the end hopes to stay, show
all the others at rest
it is he who's the best
his girl gets him win it in A row

[Yamanashi]

Because of the penultimate stress in the 1st, 2nd and 5th lines, Japanese words will always get the "English" pronunciation:

 

There's a guy called Hattorizakura,

Who's Sumo is less than bravura,

He grabs hold in the bout,

And gets escorted out,

"Cause he's not gonna win, I assurya.

[Akinomaki]

The best sekiwake whenever
No other 2 yusho, so clever
It's Mitakeumi
But higher up? "Who, me?"
"My power does change like the weather"

[Kintamayama]

There was once was a rikishi named San,

His shikona had syllable, one

Yobidashi went crazy,

The gyoji was lazy,

So he changed it to Tochiouzan

 

 

[Ichimawashi]

It's good they recycle the names
Otherwise we'd not get to the games
Yobidashi's turned blue!
And the gyoji has, too!
You try singing 12-syllable names...

[Ichimawashi]

Hattoizakura's new plan:
Matta matta, as long as he can
See, big guys in the squat
Get quite tired and hot
Finally, henka, and down goes his man!

[Ichimawashi]

I dunno if this basho’s worth holding
It’s not merely a case of embolding
Though it’s all just bad luck
A bad outbreak would suck
A catastrophe slowly unfolding