Ridiculous Predictions for Haru 2019

[Yamanashi]

Hakuho claims a series of little injuries are pestering him during the basho; meanwhile he wins 15-0 ; also takes time out after day 7 to get in BP with the Orix Buffaloes.

Kakuryu starts off well, but begins pulling on day 6 and exits after 3 straight losses.  "I dunno, it's lots of little stuff, my knee's acting up, the ripped toenail, slept funny on my elbow, but hey, sorry for kvetching" he explains in an exclusive interview to a bald fellow from Israel.

Tochinoshin makes a dramatic comeback, going 8-7 as he pulls a rare henka on Goeido, who sells out completely and takes out three rows of spectators including 4 geisha.

Shodai decides to embrace his tachiai.  He simply stands up at the beginning of a match against Aoiyama, who misjudges and falls over.  Next day Shodai tries this against Hokutofuji, who sends him backwards so fast that he takes out three rows of spectators including 4 geisha.

Edited March 9, 2019 by Yamanashi
spelling, of course

[Akōgyokuseki]

Ridiculous prediction?.... Kakuryu takes it with a zensho...no day 3/4 kyujo, no excuses, no moving backwards push/pull sumo, just pure, raw, crane power..........

........

 

 

 

[Fukuyamada]

Goeido yusho!

[orandashoho]

Goeido zensho yusho in a kettei-sen against Takayasu. Hakuho, having lost against both, retires in disgust.

Edited March 9, 2019 by orandashoho

[Old Shatterhand is dead]

Toyonoshima yusho. He said that not me.

[The Fat Cyclist]

The Shimpan decide to have words with Hakuho for standing on the tawara after bouts & he promptly goes kyujo

Kakuryu starts well but on day 6 pulls so hard he is last seen exiting the hall at speed, backward, prompting a nationwide search.

Tochinoshin grunts so hard while trying to lift Inchinojo he does himself a damage and  has to retire

Yoshikaze yosho.

[Eikokurai]

Kisenosato yusho.

Takayasu denied yet again.

[Sue]

Ridiculous prediction: Hattorizakura wins the Jonokuchi yusho.

[Sue]

Ura turns out to be perfectly healthy after all, having faked a visit to the hospital for surgery, and wins the Makushita yusho with a zensho.

[Sue]

The YDC doesn't grumble about either one of the Yokozuna when they meet after the basho.

[Asojima]

1 hour ago, Sue said:

Ridiculous prediction: Hattorizakura wins the Jonokuchi yusho.

One of his matches is a visit to jonidan where he defeats Terunofuji with an ipponzeoi.

[Philioyamfugi]

Oorah....is coming back to Japan and opening a restaurant named Ooraaaaahs !

 

 

[Tigerboy1966]

Gyoji decide to enforce the "both hands down" rule. The final match therefore goes on at just before midnight on most days. An exhausted Goeido protests "it's not meant to be taken LITERALLY".

[robnplunder]

My zensho yusho fantasies .... Enho & Mitakeumi goes zensho yusho for juryo and makuuchi, respectively. 

A mawashi falls off during a makuuchi match.  7 women in expensive seats feint.

[Gurowake]

Takakeisho, Tamawashi and Mitakeumi all MK.

[Kaninoyama]

Terutsuyoshi goes zensho yusho in his Makuuchi debut.

[robnplunder]

2 hours ago, Gurowake said:

Takakeisho, Tamawashi and Mitakeumi all MK.

This could happen.   Mita is recovering from injury.  Tama hasn't been consistent from basho to basho and this may be his "off" one.   Taka will likely get his KK unless he gets injured.  

[Philioyamfugi]

1 hour ago, Kaninoyama said:

Terutsuyoshi goes zensho yusho in his Makuuchi debut.

Terutsuyoshi goes zensho...day 15 against Hakahou (also zensho)..hits Hak with the salt in the eyes for the win.

 

[sekitori]

Half the makunouchi rkishis will have 8-7 records. The other other half will have 7-8 records. With approximately 20 rikishis taking part,  this will create the weirdest and by far the longest lasting yusho--ketteisen in history. 

[Fujisan]

The Rikishi,concerned about all the injuries they have been having in recent years sign a non aggression pact and one after one of them comes to the dohyo shakes their opponents hand before turning round and going home for tea and crumpets.......

The notorious Conner Mcgregger challenges Yokozuna Hakuho to a bout and wins........

Edited March 10, 2019 by Fujisan

[Shio-kago]

Hokutofuji pulls a slick henka on Kotoshogiku who fashionably takes out three rows of spectators including four geisha. Kotoshogiku bows deeply with respect after the bout.

The next morning, questioned by the press about his conduct, Hokutofuji explains-- " 'Giku is a punk."

Edited March 10, 2019 by Shio-kago

[Benihana]

Tamawashi and Takakeisho meet for a ketteisen. Tamawashi loses, but his 12-3 is still enough to get him promoted alongside Takakeisho.

[Asojima]

On Day 10, Takakeisho accidentally gets his fingers entangled in Takayasu's mawashi.  They both quit on the assumption that a hansoku has occurred.

[Fujisan]

On day 15 before their bout Hakuho  proposes to Kakuryu  and they elope from their dohjos to get married,.............It doesn't last though after they fall out over which one should wear the dress at the wedding.........

[Fujisan]

On ‎10‎/‎03‎/‎2019 at 02:40, Fujisan said:

The Rikishi,concerned about all the injuries they have been having in recent years sign a non aggression pact and one after one of them comes to the dohyo shakes their opponents hand before turning round and going home for tea and crumpets.......

 

More news from dohjo on this.....

Hakuho strained his wrist  after all the handshaking and cant take part in the next basho.....

kakuryu will take part but he can not use his right hand after suffering the same injury he goes kyujo on day 6........