Rohou and Hakurozan-my theory

[Kintamayama]

I bet I know what happened. How does this sound?

Night. Police station in Tokyo. Smoke-filled room. Takeshi (played by Beat) 50-ish,from the drug squad, good cop. Murakami, drug squad, late twenties, bad cop. Ex-Wakanohou, unshaven, still in the clothes he was arrested.

Takeshi: You know we have you by the short and curlies, don't you? You've already admitted to buying and smoking. We need names. Aren't you hungry?

Wakanohou: I told you all I know.

Murakami: Let me try to convince him like we convinced the bar owner to confess to his wife's murder last week. You know, no bruises.."

Takeshi: NO! We've got to do this by the book. Come on Kaloyan! One name, and you're looking at maybe 3 years, and if you get lucky, deportation after a year.

Wakanohou: Soslan..

Murakami: You seem to forget you're not at your heya anymore! Here, you're a nobody!!!

Wakanohou: When do I get to see my lawyer?

Murakami: Your what? Next, you'll be asking for a burger and fries!!

Takeshi: Or maybe some borscht..

Both cops laugh out loud, Takeshi needs to start keeping those dentist appointments.

Wakanohou: Come on guys, give me a break. I haven't slept for 24 hours..

Takeshi (to Murakami): Bring us some more coffee. Of the hot variety, if you don't mind..

Murakami gives him the "why me" look and goes to the machine across the corridor.

Takeshi: OK, we're alone now-it's just you and me. Give me something and I'll see to it that you will walk.

Wakanohou: Walk? You mean, no jail?

Takeshi: I can't promise no jail altogether, but a much better deal-I can deliver.

Wakanohou: What do you want exactly?

Takeshi: Give me the name of the guy that sold you the stuff.

Wakanohou: I told you, I don't know. I was told where to find him and he offered me the stuff at a good price.

Takeshi: The black guy?

Wakanohou: Yes.

Takeshi: Not the Russian?

Wakanohou: Forget about the Russian.

Takeshi: What about other rikishi?

Wakanohou: What about them?

Takeshi: Well, you know, did anyone try to give you or sell you some stuff? Is anyone else using? Come on, HELP ME OUT HERE!!

Wakanohou is sweating profusely. He licks his lips,

Wakanohou: Where's that coffee??

Silence. Takeshi looks out the window. Dawn is creeping up on Tokyo.

Takeshi stands up: MURAKAMI!!

Wakanohou: Wait.. Wait.

Takeshi sits back down, turning the chair backwards.

Takeshi: Well?

Wakanohou: Can you promise me immunity?

Takeshi: Like I said before, I can try.

Wakanohou: OK. But you have to see to it that the info won't be traced back to me. Ever...

Takeshi: I'll do my best.

Wakanohou: I can give you two names. But you gotta promise..

Murakami returns to the room abruptly, startling Wakanohou.

Murakami: Damn machine! No sugar!!

Takeshi: Murakami, go buy us some cigarettes or something!!

Murakami: But it's raining outside!!

Takeshi: Go before I stick a closed umbrella up your ass and slowly open it!!

Murakami looks at Takeshi, then at Wakanohou, acknowledges defeat , and leaves the room.

Takeshi: OK, where were we.. Right.. Names.

Wakanohou: But this HAS to stay between us.. The brothers. They set me up with the dealer. The brothers..

Takeshi: The brothers? Which of the brothers are you talking about? Aminishiki and Asoufuji? Zakura?

Wakanohou: Rohou and Hakurozan. There, I've said it.

Wakanohou trembles and puts his head between his hands.

Takeshi: The brothers? But they totally denied any involvement. I have assurances from the Kyokai offices themselves!!

Wakanohou: Yeah, right..

Takeshi: Damn.. Let me think.. OK, I've got it!!

Takeshi picks up the phone.

Takeshi: Get me that guy that wants to do doping tests in sumo. Higashi.. Kita-something. Damn Murakami.. I need that coffee..

Someone answers on the phone.

Takeshi: What's the name of the doping guy?

Wakanohou: I have no idea..

Takeshi into the phone: Right!! Oonishi!! OK, get me Oonishi!! The doping guy!! That's right. Do something useful for a change!! What? Call the friggin Kyokai!! They should know where to find him!!

After a few minutes, Takeshi explains to Oonishi what he wants to be done. He puts down the phone.

Takeshi: I told Oonishi to demand immediate urine tests at the meeting on the 29th. The Kyokai will answer in a foggy way as usual.

Wakanohou: But won't that scare the brothers off and cause them to be careful??

Takeshi: No one in their right minds will believe that the Kyokai will actually do urine tests..Come on.. The Kyokai will do as we say-this way they can get rid of all the bad "weeds" at once and start anew. Meanwhile, the mechanism will be put into place immediately. We'll give urine tests to all sekitori on September 2nd at their rikishi-kai, and will take special care to examine the brothers thoroughly. Are you sure they are "using"?

Wakanohou: Oh, sure. They are using. Is there any way they can trace this back to me??

Takeshi: No way. You have been very helpful, Roslan. We thank you.

Wakanohou: Soslan..

Murakami enters with a new umbrella.

Takeshi: What the hell is that for??

Murakami: Didn't you send me to buy an umbrella??

Takeshi looks at the ceiling.

Wakanohou looks at the floor.

Cue music - Dr. Zhivago.

Fade out.

Edited September 3, 2008 by Kintamayama

[Sakana]

You're deeply crazy. (*edit* I mean : the way you write your thoughts :-))

I like it. :-)

Edited September 3, 2008 by Sakana

[Otokonoyama]

Ah, I see Kinta has some of the same suspicions. Sudden drug sceening "out of the blue". Just happens to screen for the devil's lettuce, rather than say...hillbilly heroin and moonshine. Mr. W. Nohou still in the clink. Hmmm

[aderechelsea]

i'd buy this book if it was ever written mr Moti.

bravo !!!

[Johnofuji]

"Hello, is this the Tokyo Police?"

"Yes, what do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Roho! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Tokyo Police drug squad descend on Roho's house. They search the heya where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Roho and left. The phone rings at Roho's house. Hey, Roho! Did the Tokyo Police come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Happy Birthday, Bro!"