Yamanashi 3,693 Posted September 2, 2023 In honor of the fact that seven current or former Ozeki are on the Makuuchi banzuke for Aki, Disney Japan has matched them up to the Seven Dwarves: Grumpy = Takayasu Doc = Hoshoryu (the glasses, I guess) Happy = Kirishima Sneezy = Takakeisho Bashful = Asanoyama Sleepy = Mitakeumi Dopey = Shodai 14 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yamanashi 3,693 Posted September 2, 2023 Nishikigi has mastered the Psych game, saying he'd like to reach Sekiwake but probably not this time. In a related statement, Tobizaru now admits he's got no chance to marry Miss Japan. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yamanashi 3,693 Posted September 2, 2023 Prediction for Aki: Tamawashi wins 4 bouts by shitatenage. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fashiritētā 168 Posted September 2, 2023 Tomokaze goes 14-1, never using Hatakikomi to win a match, loses the Yusho in a playoff against Shimanoumi, who wins by Hitakikomi 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Koorifuu 867 Posted September 3, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Fashiritētā said: Shimanoumi, who wins This would've been enough to merit a place in this thread. Edited September 3, 2023 by Koorifuu 1 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reonito 1,313 Posted September 3, 2023 1 hour ago, Koorifuu said: This would've been enough to merit a place in this thread. Shimanoumi goes 1-14, slides over from J12e to J12w on the next banzuke 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ripe 69 Posted September 3, 2023 10 minutes ago, Reonito said: Shimanoumi goes 1-14, slides over from J12e to J12w on the next banzuke Nah, Shimanoumi goes 5-10 and moves up to J11w for next banzuke... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wakawakawaka 136 Posted September 3, 2023 (edited) 1) On Senshuraku, Shimanoumi challenges for the Juryo yusho in what doubles as an exchange bout against 6-8 Kagayaki. Immediately before contact at the tachiai, both of their mawashis fall off simultaneously, resulting in a double DQ, and both being promoted to Yokozuna. 2) On day 1 Hokuseiho does the standiest uppest tachiai he has ever done, whacks his head on the roof suspended above the dohyo (tsuriyane?), knocking himself unconscious and losing the bout. On day 2, at the tachiai he immediately grabs the tsuriyane, pulls himself up on it, and won't come down. The water break time limit is reached and he is disqualified for not coming down to drink the water. On day 3, Hokuseiho faces Ura, jumps up there again, and Ura teleports up there with him. They have the greatest match of all time, as evidenced by the copious quantities of octopai raining onto the dohyo. The match climaxes with the roof falling onto the dohyo, but no one can see who hit first because the walls of the roof are in the way. Without being able to rely on the cameras for a replay, the judges are lost and declare the gyoji the winner. From day 4 on, the roof is left on the dohyo as the investigation is under way as to who's fault this mess is, meaning nobody can see any bouts. Consequently the gyoji is declared the winner in each bout and racks up a score of over 100 wins, taking the yusho. Edited September 3, 2023 by Wakawakawaka 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yamanashi 3,693 Posted September 3, 2023 27 minutes ago, Wakawakawaka said: 1) On Senshuraku, Shimanoumi challenges for the Juryo yusho in what doubles as an exchange bout against 6-8 Kagayaki. Immediately before contact at the tachiai, both of their mawashis fall off simultaneously, resulting in a double DQ, and both being promoted to Yokozuna. 2) On day 1 Hokuseiho does the standiest uppest tachiai he has ever done, whacks his head on the roof suspended above the dohyo (tsuriyane?), knocking himself unconscious and losing the bout. On day 2, at the tachiai he immediately grabs the tsuriyane, pulls himself up on it, and won't come down. The water break time limit is reached and he is disqualified for not coming down to drink the water. On day 3, Hokuseiho faces Ura, jumps up there again, and Ura teleports up there with him. They have the greatest match of all time, as evidenced by the copious quantities of octopai raining onto the dohyo. The match climaxes with the roof falling onto the dohyo, but no one can see who hit first because the walls of the roof are in the way. Without being able to rely on the cameras for a replay, the judges are lost and declare the gyoji the winner. From day 4 on, the roof is left on the dohyo as the investigation is under way as to who's fault this mess is, meaning nobody can see any bouts. Consequently the gyoji is declared the winner in each bout and racks up a score of over 100 wins, taking the yusho. I'll have what he's drinking. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Leoben 120 Posted September 3, 2023 Hokuseiho uses his left arm 3 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bunbukuchagama 683 Posted September 4, 2023 4 hours ago, Leoben said: Hokuseiho uses his left arm For sumo?! 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Shatterhand is dead 29 Posted September 5, 2023 Hokuseiho eventually performs one proper tachi-ai. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bunbukuchagama 683 Posted September 5, 2023 Hokuseiho stops being the butt of forum's jokes. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yohcun 393 Posted September 5, 2023 Hakuoho's former shoulder decides to compete in his absence. It does pretty well and leads the pack at the midway point, but injures itself more severely after trying to throw hefty Kotonowaka without stable footing. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kishinoyama 582 Posted September 5, 2023 5 hours ago, Bunbukuchagama said: Hokuseiho stops being the butt of forum's jokes. When he develops a proper tachi-ai and starts using both arms then the jokes might stop. I say this as someone who wants to see him succeed. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
just_some_guy 248 Posted September 5, 2023 Two words, lads: Nishikigi yusho. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rokudenashi 290 Posted September 5, 2023 (edited) 39 minutes ago, just_some_guy said: Two words, lads: Nishikigi yusho. He hurt his calf at the sōken so I don’t have high hopes… Edited September 5, 2023 by rokudenashi Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yamanashi 3,693 Posted September 5, 2023 47 minutes ago, just_some_guy said: Two words, lads: Nishikigi yusho. You missed your chance for "ridiculous" two months ago; now it's merely "very unlikely." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bunbukuchagama 683 Posted September 5, 2023 5 hours ago, Kishinoyama said: When he develops "If" he develops them, you mean. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iwayama 25 Posted September 5, 2023 Kagayaki Yusho. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shikona 139 Posted September 5, 2023 Mitakeumi rallies for 10 wins, just slightly too late to bounce back to Ozeki. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
just_some_guy 248 Posted September 5, 2023 5 hours ago, Yamanashi said: You missed your chance for "ridiculous" two months ago; now it's merely "very unlikely." A Nishikigi yusho is always a ridiculous prediction and shall be until the end of time. 5 hours ago, rokudenashi said: He hurt his calf at the sōken so I don’t have high hopes… Hence the ridiculousness. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaninoyama 1,664 Posted September 5, 2023 Takayasu yusho. /thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fashiritētā 168 Posted September 6, 2023 44 minutes ago, Kaninoyama said: Takayasu yusho. /thread. The Curse is still on, wait for it(injured his back in training, 3 days kyujo) 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Akinomaki 39,594 Posted September 6, 2023 Kotonowaka gets the yusho with 12-3 and unanimously gets promoted to ozeki 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
