sahaven111

sumo jokes/memes

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sumo jokes/memes is your humor oasis for sumo jokes and memes that you want to tell people.

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5 hours ago, sahaven111 said:

sumo jokes/memes is your humor oasis for sumo jokes and memes that you want to tell people.

OK, start us off ...

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Can’t say I’ve seen any sumo memes, but some of the photos that come out of basho seem perfect for memefication.

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Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, Eikokurai said:

Can’t say I’ve seen any sumo memes, but some of the photos that come out of basho seem perfect for memefication.

For starters there's a pretty hilarious take on Terunofuji forcing out Tamawashi into a shimpan, although the reporting agency isn't particularly astute about it...

Photo of exciting end of sumo match looks like…a VERY different kind of excitement | SoraNews24 -Japan News-

Edited by Seiyashi
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If you check the daily pics thread by Akinomaki, there is usually a picture of Takakeisho kissing his opponent at the tachiai, with a range of expressions...

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Completely unoriginal, but here's a couple of jokes I found to be howlers:

  1. Who has the largest pupils? A sumo coach.
  2. Dress for the job you want not the job you have, they said. How'm I going to be a rikishi now when I was arrested for public indecency?
  3. Why did the ex-prisoners beat the ex-wrestlers? Because the cons outweigh the pros.

I'll show myself out now.

Credit: The 17+ Best Sumo Jokes - ↑UPJOKE↑

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10 minutes ago, Seiyashi said:

I'd hate to see the worst ones. The first one works. The second one, oof, but okay. The less said about the third, the better.

  • What's the difference between a successful rikishi and a guy in a fat suit? One does "my brand of sumo", the other does "off-brand mae-zumo".

It's after 5pm, cut me some slack.

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Let's see if I remember this one:

Q. How many rikishi does it take to turn out the lights?

A: None; that task is performed by the Akariwokesu-yobidashi.

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Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, Yamanashi said:

Let's see if I remember this one:

Q. How many rikishi does it take to turn out the lights?

A: None; that task is performed by the Akariwokesu-yobidashi.

see you get it, heres something i got https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/kBob2jKzGn9kMph5wB9zxlfKgg-fgFFz9hK6nf_3iMXC8ajKysC1EwBblvj4GazZA_M9=s100

Edited by sahaven111

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I can't take credit for the following --

1) Due to the Japanese banking crisis, Sumo Bank has gone belly up.

2) Best sumo wrestler pick-up line -- "Wanna wrassle?"

3) (I will delete this if it offends anyone). What did the Chinese cannibals make out of the sumo wrestler they killed?  Wonton soup.

Funny commercials featuring sumo wrestlers aren't really jokes that one can tell another person, but they certainly are full of humor.  I hope you don't mind me including this compilation for the laughs. 

 

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Posted (edited)

Photo of sumo wrestlers smiling in a sunflower field.  Click on "40 comments" and when the photo pops up again, scroll down below the photo to see information about it's source.

 

Edited by sumojoann

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I've been trying to come up with a caption for this picture without much luck.  (I'm glad the gyoji was able to get up afterwards, with help, and walk away).9.jpg

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Posted (edited)

Those ballet lessons really paid off for Takakeisho on Day 13.202103260000762-w1300_1.jpg

Edited by sumojoann

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In New Zealand, the Maori traditionally greet each other by rubbing noses ..... 202103230000988-w1300_0.jpg

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1 hour ago, sumojoann said:

I've been trying to come up with a caption for this picture without much luck.  (I'm glad the gyoji was able to get up afterwards, with help, and walk away).9.jpg

I feel like some joke can be made here out of Asanoyama and Shodai being a bickering couple, having bought the wrong floor wax or something and causing an accident with their visitors.

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2 hours ago, sumojoann said:

9.jpg

"Come on Shoudai- don't you think kicking him in the balls is a bit too much??"

"Darn, I can't reach them.."

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Posted (edited)
On 01/04/2021 at 04:33, sumojoann said:

I've been trying to come up with a caption for this picture without much luck.  (I'm glad the gyoji was able to get up afterwards, with help, and walk away).ou

"Shodai, you moron, it's 'you put your right foot in, then you shake it all about'! How are you ever going to learn the Hokey-Pokey at this rate? "

Edited by Yamanashi
nobody got the joke

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"Life's NOT FAIR!!  I was on my way to getting the rope and YOU had to show up and ruin everything.  Now I have to worry about going kadoban again and YOU'RE probably going to jump over me on the next Banzuke!  I hope your knees BLOW UP!!  I want my mommy!!" 

"Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......."

f_14191137.jpg

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"Tit for tat, you lose!!!  Hahahahahaha!!!  Sorry, buddy, better luck next basho!!"

"HEY!!!  I'm filing sexual harassment charges against you!  Life's NOT FAIR!!  I want my mommy!!

  9.jpg

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"Dear God,  I send this prayer to you.  Please help me win this Yusho.  I'm so damn close!  You know how I fall down a lot.  Please help me to not be so clumsy.  By now, you've probably noticed this giant zit on my cheek.  Please don't let it pop during tachiai unless it gives me an advantage over my opponent.  And last but not least, please let my opponent smother to death between my tits.  It would be fun to have a mono-ii just for that.  Please help the gyoji and shimpan figure out what kimarite to call it!  Thank you for your blessings.  Your humble servant, Aoiyama."  ExjfGbxVoAQ_kme.jpg:large

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"Yuck!!  I know you're super excited about beating me but do you really have to KISS me right now?!  Look, buddy, dancing with joy on the dohyo is just not cool.  It only serves to make me look like even more of a loser than I really am.  Just.Stop.It.Now!!  Damn!"  202103280000647-w1300_14.jpg

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25 minutes ago, sumojoann said:

"Dear God,  I send this prayer to you.  Please help me win this Yusho.  I'm so damn close!  You know how I fall down a lot.  Please help me to not be so clumsy.  By now, you've probably noticed this giant zit on my cheek.  Please don't let it pop during tachiai unless it gives me an advantage over my opponent.  And last but not least, please let my opponent smother to death between my tits.  It would be fun to have a mono-ii just for that.  Please help the gyoji and shimpan figure out what kimarite to call it!  Thank you for your blessings.  Your humble servant, Aoiyama."  ExjfGbxVoAQ_kme.jpg:large

Bonus points for humor as Aoiyama actually is Christian.

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5 minutes ago, sahaven111 said:

Bonus points for humor as Aoiyama actually is Christian.

That's great to know!  I was going to add more to the prayer but I hesitated to bring the topic of Christianity into it.  I was going to add the following -- "Lord, I know that I have been too rough on some of my opponents this basho.  I promise to do more Christ-like sumo next time."

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"OMG, I've killed him!  Enho!  ENHO!!  WAKE UP!!!  I knew the day would come that SOMEBODY would squash him like a bug, but I didn't know it was going to be ME -- or TODAY!!  Oh God, maybe I'd better get off of him.  He's turning blue!  Wake up, Enho!  WAKE UP!!  How am I going to explain this to Hakuho??!!  WHY ME???!  ENHO!!!!!!!!!!!!"202103270000065-w1300_7.jpg

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