Yamanashi

Ridiculous Predictions September Basho

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2 minutes ago, sahaven111 said:

Abi shows up despite having a three basho suspension.

Yeah, like pro wrestling style. The lights suddenly go out, the commentators are shocked and confused and ask what's going on, then suddenly a spotlight shines on the west entrance and "seek and destroy" blasts out of the Kokugikan speakers as Abi begins making his way to the dohyo...with a steel chair in his hands.

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The dohyo gradualy gets softer over the 15 days and nobody notices, by the  end of the basho it has turned to quicksand and the yokozunas,are never seen again 

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2 hours ago, Fujisan said:

The dohyo gradualy gets softer over the 15 days and nobody notices, by the  end of the basho it has turned to quicksand and the yokozunas,are never seen again 

Bold of you to assume either yokozuna will be active by day 15.

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17 minutes ago, sahaven111 said:

Bold of you to assume either yokozuna will be active by day 15.

This is ridiculous  predicions and both yokozunas being stilli in on day15  fits in welll  here. 

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4 hours ago, Fujisan said:

The dohyo gradualy gets softer over the 15 days and nobody notices, by the  end of the basho it has turned to quicksand and the yokozunas,are never seen again 

The Legend of the Lost Yokozuna becomes a romantic storyline among the Japanese public, immensely boosting the interest in and bottom line of Ozumo.  Embarrassingly, they are later found with Abi in Ulaanbaatar at the city's first Japanese-style hostess bar.

Edited by Yamanashi
capitals, capitals, capitals!
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Hakuho and Kakuryu annonce their intai and undying love for each other,then they elope on day 5   

Edited by Fujisan

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Being lighter than when he started sumo in the first place, Enho is now officially able to effectively deal with his sworn enemy, that pesky WHITE RICE STEAM. After spending some inter-basho time at a secret Buddhist temple, he is able to agglomerate the steam into a cloud, on which he is now light enough to sit on. Enho officially goes 15 - 0, because the sight of him sitting cross-legged on a cloud of white rice steam floating down the hanamichi is such an effective shock tactic. The fact that he cannot actually be knocked out the dohyo on a cloud also helps. 

EPILOGUE: Hakuho also wants to learn the technique so that he can rest those pesky knees, but it is all in vain and he's just way too heavy. Even the steam from a 19th century train couldn't save him. He'll have to do that fasting regime again. 

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On 01/09/2020 at 10:21, Ichimawashi said:

Enho, now down to 92kg on the Kyokai website,

Knowing which thread I was on, I had to go check this, and was astounded to see that it's true. Seriously? Seven kg loss in two months? I need to get back to Japan and take the boy out for some high tempura and desaato...

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13 hours ago, Kaminariyuki said:

Knowing which thread I was on, I had to go check this, and was astounded to see that it's true. Seriously? Seven kg loss in two months? I need to get back to Japan and take the boy out for some high tempura and desaato...

The last official weigh-in was something like January, so it's more like a half-year. Unless that 99kg was an unofficial weight that he revealed himself last basho.

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3 hours ago, yohcun said:

The last official weigh-in was something like January, so it's more like a half-year. Unless that 99kg was an unofficial weight that he revealed himself last basho.

Kintamayam started a new thread and said Enhou had previously weighed in at 96 kg, I assume for July. I think they weigh in for every basho, on a specified day. I could be wrong, but I think I've seen photos here on SF.

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50 minutes ago, Kaminariyuki said:

Kintamayam started a new thread and said Enhou had previously weighed in at 96 kg, I assume for July. I think they weigh in for every basho, on a specified day. I could be wrong, but I think I've seen photos here on SF.

They get tested (BP, blood draw, H/W) twice a year, Feb. and Aug.  My guess is the weight loss described by Kintamaya occurred from February to August.

The database seems to have February height/weight data listed for the March basho.  Whether the August data is generally available I don't know.

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My results spreadsheet uses the text banzuke that appears on sumodb a short time after the banzuke appears, but the heights and weights are updated each basho it seems on the Kyokai site, at least for the top two divisions, so I get them there.  Those almost always match the ones on the NHK broadcasts.

Edited by Ichimawashi

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7 hours ago, Yamanashi said:

They get tested (BP, blood draw, H/W) twice a year, Feb. and Aug.  My guess is the weight loss described by Kintamaya occurred from February to August.

 

Indeed-they were checked in August.

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11 hours ago, yohcun said:

The last official weigh-in was something like January, so it's more like a half-year. Unless that 99kg was an unofficial weight that he revealed himself last basho.

The last weigh-in was in August.

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The basho is canceled due to the outbreak of a virus. Everyone moves up one square, without passing Go and without collecting 10000 yen.

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On 02/09/2020 at 19:26, Andonishiki said:

Enho ... dating a 90-60-90 girl

Maybe it's because I'm old, or maybe it's because they haven't shown 'Miss World' in the UK since the 1980s, but I can't remember the last time I saw a woman referred to by her 'vital statistics'. Even in the ridiculous predictions thread, I'm hoping that's 36-24-36 in 'old money'!

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Since the start of the honbasho, Tokyo has been hit by daily typhoons with wind speed of 50km/hr.

All outstation heyas are advised to move to Ryogoku hotels and to train on the sole dohyo inside Edo Noren next to the train station (Sadotagake, Oitekaze, Naruto, Katanonami, etc), since all trains are no longer operational within the greater Tokyo network.

Enho, Terutsuyoshi, Ishiura & Tobizaru are seen being windborne the moment they step out of their transports, necessitating the installation of handrails for them to grab ahold as they make their way into the kokugikan. All 4 developed amazing grip strength and are vying to win the Yusho in a four way 13-2 ketteisen playoff.

On Senshuraku, a mega typhoon actually makes landfall during the musubi-no-ichiban, where both yokozuna were vying to avoid a 0-15 makekoshi record. The roof of the kokugikan is swept clean and Hakuho manages to throw Kakuryu out of the dohyo with an izori. Kakuryu unfortunately fails to land on floor but is instead carried by the wind up past the second floor and out of the kokugikan. 
 

The ketteisen playoff is then called off as all 4 contenders get windborne the moment they step out of the hanamichi and fly out of the kokugikan (and even if they could make it to the dohyo, there are no handrails to stabilize themselves and touching them is hansoku).

The Kyokai then crowns the heaviest rikishi as the Yusho winner, which also happens to be Ichinojo at 198kg since he is the only one able to stand on the dohyo throughout a turbulent award ceremony that saw every single trophy get airborne the moment the yobidashi bring it onto the dohyo. 

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On day 15, Hakuho and Kakuryu are tied at 14-0. Both Yokozuna are bruised and battered. Hakuho’s recently surgically repaired knees can barely hold up any longer. Hakuho is resorting to placing all weight on one leg only. Going into the match for the yusho, Kakuryu decides his best shot at glory is to redeem himself by executing a leg sweep for the win this time. As Hakuho stands on the dohyo, he shifts all his weight to one leg, raises his arms in a weird crane fashion, and lifts one knee up high. At the sound of hakkeyoi, Hakuho channels his inner Daniel LaRusso and executes a perfectly timed crane kick, barely dogging the second failed leg sweep of Kakuryu. Hakuho wins and the crowd screams in excitement, breaking all norms for crowd reaction in the time of Covid. 

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1 hour ago, Shinobi Steve said:

On day 15, Hakuho and Kakuryu are tied at 14-0

You could have stopped there and it's ridiculous enough, I'll be surprised if they amount to 14 wins between them. 

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21 hours ago, Atenzan said:

You could have stopped there and it's ridiculous enough, I'll be surprised if they amount to 14 wins between them. 

That is why this is the ridiculous predictions thread. :-D

I would not be surprised if Hakuho is kyujo the entire tournament because of the knee problems. Kakuryu also might not come out to play. I like it when we have yokozuna in the tournament but if they are not healthy enough to compete, I would rather they stay home, or retire.

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A mystery masked  man challenges all comers to a bout of sumo.He wins them  all.

When he unmasks it turns out to be a little known sumo fan called Paul(Fujisan) Sharp.

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4 hours ago, Fujisan said:

A mystery masked  man challenges all comers to a bout of sumo.He wins them  all.

When he unmasks it turns out to be a little known sumo fan called Paul(Fujisan) Sharp.

So, there is a quantum state above "ridiculous".  Along with your yusho, here's a Nobel Prize, Dr. Sharp!(Firstprize...)(Bigfish...)

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2 hours ago, Yamanashi said:

So, there is a quantum state above "ridiculous".  Along with your yusho, here's a Nobel Prize, Dr. Sharp!(Firstprize...)(Bigfish...)

Thank you,I do diserve it.

As for the "quantum  state above ridiculous," you haven't seen nothing yet.

 

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3 hours ago, Fujisan said:

Thank you,I do diserve it.

As for the "quantum  state above ridiculous," you haven't seen nothing yet.

You in sumo? Really? I could see you in WWE, with your expertise in falling jumping off ladders...

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