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Yamanashi

Ridiculous Predictions for Hatsu 2020

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1) Hakuho vs. Endo: Hakuho slaps, gouges, then gives Endo a Dutch Rub in his victory.  There is some criticism, but ex-Kitanofuji says, "Grow up you snowflakes!  If you can't counter that stuff you should go practice ballet!"

2) Takayasu vs. Shodai: Desperate at the bales, Shodai reaches out to make a throw and accidentally rips out a hunk of chest hair.  Takayasu immediately collapses.  Shodai becomes the champion of WWE fans, who start a viral campaign to let Shodai wear a mask in the Haru basho.

3) Yutakayama vs. Okinoumi: after a confusing belt battle that careens across the dohyo, both rikishi go out at the same time.  The confused gyoji tells the mono-ii "I think boob guy went out first."

 

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Ishiura wins the WBO, WBA, IBO and IBF heavyweight championships, defeating Anthony Joshua for the titles on senshuraku.

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