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Yamanashi

Ridiculous Predictions for Kyushu 2019

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PLEASE NOTE: This topic is for RIDICULOUS predictions only! No "I think Enho will be the coolest" or "Aoiyama will get 10 wins". 

 

 

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1) Hokutofuji is injured on day 2, but his mighty forehead continues on, getting twelve wins and starting the first Ozeki run by a body part.

2) The verdict from the richijo comes down: Abi and Wakamotoharu are sentenced to shokkiri duty for the next jungyo.

3) Enho has a middling 7-8 tournament, but is still awarded #1 'spirited rikishi' all fifteen days, and is voted "cutest human ever" by the Kawaii Advisory Board.

4) At the post-basho wrapup report, no one can remember if Takarafuji entered the basho, or what his result was.

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Abi appears at the dohyo-iri with adhesive tape on his mouth to protest against SNS censorship and is banned from the tournament: "He has shown no repentance"

 

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The entire Sanyaku goes kyujo in protest over the slippery dohyo.  Wakatakawho pulls off an amazing 10-5 yusho with 6 juryo crossover matches.

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Kotoyuki. Inspired by Abi and Wakamotoharu antics, moves towards his natural conclusion and shows up for Day 1 entirely wrapped in tape. Scores a win and ends up rolling down an aisle anyway.

Edited by Rocks
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Mitakeumi will win with an 11-4 primarily because the yokozunas, ozekis, and other sanyaku rikishis will all have dropped out. The NSK, being desperate to find another Japanese grand champion, will determine that 23 wins and  two consecutive yushos, no matter how weak the opposition was, will qualify him for yokozuna, skipping ozeki ranking. You want ridiculous predictions? You just got one. :-)

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Although it doesn't pertain to this basho the NSK, in order to link the names of Endo and Enho closer together, will find three new candidates and name them Eneo, Enfo, and Engo.

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19 minutes ago, sekitori said:

Mitakeumi will win with an 11-4 primarily because the yokozunas, ozekis, and other sanyaku rikishis will all have dropped out. The NSK, being desperate to find another Japanese grand champion, will determine that 23 wins and  two consecutive yushos, no matter how weak the opposition was, will qualify him for yokozuna, skipping ozeki ranking. You want ridiculous predictions? You just got one. :-)

It's getting harder to make predictions that are actually ridiculous, isn't it?  After the carnage of the last two basho, I wonder if we'll see the first simultaneous makuuchi/juryo champ who clinches the title(s) against a guy brought up from Ms3!

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1.) all the upper ranked rikishi get make-koshi, and the lower ranked get kachi-koshi, so a maegashira 5 or higher has to be demoted to juryo (and - sorry - poor ichinojo :-()

2.) Hakuho retires because he is no longer able to get a yusho

3.) Shodai yusho!

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The Yokozunas enter the arena for their respective dohyo iri accompanied by walls of pyrotechnics, and shitty Pantera inspired metal, WWE style.

The Fukuoka fans seem to dig it.

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Ichinojo will ride the bullet train down to Fukuoka to declare his intention in the hopes of facing Enho, who beat the giant by tsuridashi

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11 hours ago, sekitori said:

Mitakeumi will win with an 11-4 primarily because the yokozunas, ozekis, and other sanyaku rikishis will all have dropped out.

1 each day, top down - we have 11 sanyaku. Asanoyama manages to get 5 fusensho out of that before he drops out as well. Unfortunately possible

11 hours ago, Yamanashi said:

It's getting harder to make predictions that are actually ridiculous, isn't it?  After the carnage of the last two basho

Edited by Akinomaki

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On 09/11/2019 at 20:05, sekitori said:

the yokozunas, ozekis, and other sanyaku rikishis will all have dropped out.

This starts to look like it will not even be an exaggeration - the one who will remain in the end is still open to speculation though

Edited by Akinomaki

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