Bugman

Have a go at a Haiku!

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Bugman    288

You guys probably know all about them, there's lots of guidance and ways you can get really deep into this style of poetry, with some people even going as far to say that they don't really work in English, but what the heck, it's for fun.  The simplest basic rules for them is that they are 5 syllables, followed by 7, followed by 5 again.  There's also the strong suggestion that they should have something about nature in them, though plenty have been written without.

Here's mine to get the ball rolling :)    The happy tortoise, enjoyed spring without fearing, the eagle's shadow.

Edited by Bugman
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Benihana    594

Yellow bird I see.
The gray dragon hides wisely.
Honor is duty.

 

To be honest, this is from a Battletech novel. Battletech was the initial start for my interest in the japanese culture.

Edited by Benihana
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Kintamayama    21,506

A remote control

Making contact with a head

Disappearing thread

 

GTB deadline

has passed, and you did not play

you have missed the fun.

 

A suit and a scarf

A pouch that looks out of place

And a lost boy look.

 

He comes to your door

five times, he comes to your door.

And you don't respond.

 

Riji wondering

Where is Takanoiwa?

Drinking Pink Champagne?

 

 

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Kintamayama    21,506

Salary zero

Hakuhou is crestfallen

Applies for a loan

 

Isegahama

gets demoted and punished

Where will it all end?

 

Suddenly he's here

"I was remotely controlled,

now I have two heads."

Edited by Kintamayama
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Kintamayama    21,506

Takanohana

Red bag and not much to say

Will he be punished ?

 

Four yokozunas

And now only three remain

Then two by natsu?

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Yamanashi    192

Kintamayama:

Excellent haiku.  Many rikishi shikona are perfect for the first (5-syllable) line, aren't they?

These remind me of the "double-dactyl" rhymes ("Higgeldy Piggeldy" followed by a name) that were in vogue during the last century, except there with six syllables:

Higgeldy Piggeldy
  Philip of Macedon
  cursed Alexander, his
  famous papoose,
"Why should I try to be
  philoprogenitive?
  everyone thinks that his
  father was Zeus!"
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Gurowake    1,576

I can't write Haiku.  I'm awfully bad at it.  You can't win them all.

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Gurowake    1,576
1 hour ago, Yamanashi said:

Kintamayama:

Excellent haiku.  Many rikishi shikona are perfect for the first (5-syllable) line, aren't they?

These remind me of the "double-dactyl" rhymes ("Higgeldy Piggeldy" followed by a name) that were in vogue during the last century, except there with six syllables:


Higgeldy Piggeldy
  Philip of Macedon
  cursed Alexander, his
  famous papoose,
"Why should I try to be
  philoprogenitive?
  everyone thinks that his
  father was Zeus!"

Higgeldy Piggeldy
Iambic pentameter
is not the meter of
this haste-wrought scrawl.

It's "double dactyl": words
heterological,
never describing them-
selves well at all.

Composed November 2012 when I discovered that "iambic pentameter" was in the double dactyl meter, which made it heterological, and then noticed "heterological" would work as the single word double dactyls are expected to have on one line.  Yes, it took a rather long time to compose, unlike my haiku.  I only posted it on Facebook, so you'll not find it on a search of the internet (other than here once Google indexes it), while I was able to search my Facebook archives to find it - I certainly didn't remember all of it after 5 years.

Edited by Gurowake
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Akinomaki    17,139

The sumo museum has presently an exhibition about haiku, closing tomorrow

DR3F01mV4AAKKhr.jpg:thumbo DR3F2a5UMAAlTSX.jpg:thumbo

this will disappear soon so I put the exhibition details here - with many Japanese Edo sumo haiku (which I won't try to translate)

Spoiler

「俳句・川柳にみる江戸の相撲」

展示期間 平成29年(2017)10月24日(火)~12月26日(火)

 俳句の世界では、相撲は秋の季語としてよく知られています。これは奈良・平安時代に朝廷で催された相撲節(すまいのせち)が、毎年7月に開催されていたためです。松尾芭蕉からアマチュアの愛好者まで、俳句の題材として相撲はさまざまな人々に詠まれてきました。7代横綱・稲妻雷五郎は、相撲が強かっただけでなく、俳句をたしなんだことでもよく知られています。
 季語や「かな」「や」などの切れ字を必要としない川柳は明和年間(1764~72)から流行し、自由で笑いも誘う作品が数多く誕生しました。江戸時代後期の『誹風柳多留』(はいふうやなぎだる)には相撲にまつわる川柳も少なくありません。
 今回は、俳句・川柳や、力士を詠んだ狂歌を紹介しながら江戸の相撲の世界へ皆さまをご案内します。錦絵とともにお楽しみいただければ幸いです。

畠山重忠・長居相撲の図
1 畠山重忠・長居相撲の図
 江戸時代前期の代表的な俳人として名高い松尾芭蕉(1644~94)も作品の題材とした。元禄4年(1691)に詠んだと伝わる「むかしきけ ちゝふ殿さへ すまふとり」は、鎌倉初期に活躍した武蔵国の武将・畠山重忠(1164~1205)をモチーフにしたもの。「ちゝふ殿」が重忠のことである。下部の絵図が『古今著聞集』にある両者の相撲を正持という行司が描いたと伝わる作品。「自分に勝てる者はいない」と豪語する長居に源頼朝(1147~99)は、重忠との相撲を命じた。重忠は怪力で長居を圧倒し、肩の骨を砕いてしまったという。上部は俳句を嗜んだ7代横綱・稲妻雷五郎による相撲の極意と自作の句。
西ノ方大関横綱土俵入之図 稲妻雷五郎 歌川貞虎 画 文政12年~天保10年(1829~39)
2 西ノ方大関横綱土俵入之図 稲妻雷五郎 歌川貞虎 画 文政12年~天保10年(1829~39)
 稲妻雷五郎(1802~77)は茨城県稲敷市出身の7代横綱。6代横綱・阿武松緑之助(おうのまつみどりのすけ、1791~1850)とともに文政~天保年間(1818~44)に活躍。相撲が強かっただけでなく、俳句を嗜んだことでも有名。
春なれや 名もなき山の 朝霞  いな妻
3 春なれや 名もなき山の 朝霞  いな妻
 稲妻雷五郎の作品。多くの句を詠んでおり、このほかにも「大空や 苦にせぬ松の 力瘤」「香にめてゝ 雲の晴間や 菊相撲」「四方山に 錦きせたき 秋の夢」などの作品がある。
名所江戸百景 両ごく回向院元柳橋 歌川広重(初代)画 安政4年(1857)
4 名所江戸百景 両ごく回向院元柳橋 歌川広重(初代)画 安政4年(1857)
 大相撲は太鼓の音にはじまり、太鼓の音で終了する。興行のたびに建てられる櫓は大相撲がはじまることを知らせてくれる。小林一茶(1763~1827)は文化10年(1812)に「うす闇き 角力太鼓や 角田川〔隅田川〕」と詠んでいる。
大相撲関取御江戸両国橋通行ノ図(部分) 歌川豊国(3代)画 弘化4年(1847)
5 大相撲関取御江戸両国橋通行ノ図(部分) 歌川豊国(3代)画 弘化4年(1847)
 両国橋を闊歩する力士たちと、見上げるように見つめる人々。回向院周辺では、川柳にあるような光景を目にすることができた。場所入りの際にも人々は力士の大きさに驚愕したことだろう。「関とりの 乳のあたりに 人たかり」(『誹風柳多留』初篇、明和2年(1765))など、力士の体の大きさを表した川柳も数多い。
釈迦ケ嶽雲右衛門と女性 磯田湖龍斎画 明和7年~安永3年(1770~74)
6 釈迦ケ嶽雲右衛門と女性 磯田湖龍斎画 明和7年~安永3年(1770~74)
 川柳で2階から目薬をさすといわれた島根県安来市出身の大関・釈迦ケ嶽雲右衛門(1749~75)が女性を指1本でつり下げている。身長約2メートル6センチ、手の平29センチ、足の裏39センチ、体重143キロほど、1回の食事でご飯を3升食べるとある。「釈迦ケ嶽 二階から目へ 差し薬」(『誹風柳多留』130篇、天保5年(1834))と、その大きさは川柳で表されている。
小柳 荒馬 歌川豊国(3代)画 弘化4年~嘉永5年(1847~52)
7 小柳 荒馬 歌川豊国(3代)画 弘化4年~嘉永5年(1847~52)
 「あらつほい 仲人をする 庄之介」(『誹風柳多留』15篇、安永9年(1780))。川柳のように激しい取組の仲人をする木村庄之助が描かれた作品。大関・小柳常吉(1817~58)は千葉県市原市、関脇・荒馬吉五郎(1809~54)は千葉県船橋市の出身。12代・木村庄之助(?~1861)は出身地不詳。
江戸相撲勝負付 安政5年(1858)春 8日目中入後
8 江戸相撲勝負付 安政5年(1858)春 8日目中入後
 「取る投ケる 摺る出す売れる 勝負附」(『誹風柳多留』82篇、文政8年(1825))。取組が終了すると、その結果はすぐに勝負付として市中で販売された。上に勝った力士、下に負けた力士が摺られている。「勝負なし」とあるのは同体などで勝敗がわからない場合の判定で、安政年間(1854~60)まであり、無勝負とも呼ばれた。「引分」は勝負がつかなかった場合。めったに見られないが、現在も水入り2回を経て二番後に取り直しても決着しない場合などに引分となる。
雷電為右衛門の手形
9 雷電為右衛門の手形
 大関・雷電為右衛門(1767~1825)は長野県東御市出身。大相撲史上、無類の強豪として知られる。幕臣で文人の大田南畝(1749~1823)が「百里をも おとろかすべき 雷電の 手形をもつて 通る関とり」と狂歌を添えた手形は、実際に押したもの以外に摺られたものもある。雷電の手形と往来手形、関所の関と関取をかけた作品だが、雷電の人気ぶりがうかがえる。
生月鯨太左衛門江戸下リ道中ノ図 歌川豊国(3代)画 弘化2年(1845)
10 生月鯨太左衛門江戸下リ道中ノ図 歌川豊国(3代)画 弘化2年(1845)
 張出前頭・生月鯨太左衛門(1827~50)は、長崎県平戸市出身。身長は227センチの大男。弘化元年(1844)、江戸相撲に初登場し、大変な注目を集めた。東海道を下る姿を描いたこの作品には、立川焉馬(2代、1792~1862)による狂歌が添えられており「七尺に 五寸あまれる 生月は ならふかたなき すまひ男にして」とある。

and I'm also too lazy to think of one myself

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Atenzan    742
On 25/12/2017 at 18:23, Gurowake said:

I can't write Haiku.  I'm awfully bad at it.  You can't win them all.

Excellent! Reminds me of:

Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator

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Kintamayama    21,506

Is Inosuke

Drunk as a sailor again?

Kiss me, I'll tell you.

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orandashoho    505

Passion awakened
forgetful of hinkaku
he kissed and fondled

Leaving a youngster
in bewildrement and shock,
and then he forgets?

Hakkaku outraged!
If you can't use the tanto
how can you atone?

You can't die of shame
you can give up the bottle
and you can resign.
 

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orandashoho    505
15 hours ago, McBugger said:

Inosuke calls:  
"Are you up for a tipple?"
The young man nodded. 

Except that this does not seem to be true, the young man had not joined him but had been tasked to help him get back to his hotel room.
The actual period of contact might have been brief, but because of the task (helping up, supporting the body) the contact had been physical by necessity.

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Atenzan    742
3 minutes ago, orandashoho said:

Except that this does not seem to be true, the young man had not joined him but had been tasked to help him get back to his hotel room.
The actual period of contact might have been brief, but because of the task (helping up, supporting the body) the contact had been physical by necessity.

Poetic license...

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orandashoho    505
1 minute ago, McBugger said:
5 minutes ago, orandashoho said:

Except that this does not seem to be true, [...]

Poetic license...

Something as sad as this doesn't need to be exacerbated by repeating vile slander, and in order to call it poetic license it would have to have some literary merit.

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Atenzan    742
Posted (edited)

You have a point.

Edited by McBugger
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Burajirotono    97

Here in Brasil we say "haikai"...

"The horse runs

rough and forward

Japan was orphaned"

(Dohyo-iri...)(Goingkyujo...)

yes, im no poet...Hahaha

But i do love stuff like this:

"Katatsumori

Soro soro nobore

Fuji no yama"

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orandashoho    505

@Burajirotono
If you like unusual poetry and don't mind foreign languages, try Welsh poetry. Its traditional forms (called cnghanedd) are very strict and stem from the times that nothing was written down and bards were responsible for reciting history. Cynghanned not only made long stories easier to remember, it also sounds beautiful because of the alliterations and internal rhymes.

Welsh poets today have competitions where they create verses on a given theme within a few minutes time.

It is devilishly difficult to make a good englyn. I tried it, got one pubkished once, but I think Barddas just published it because it is an unusual feat for a non-native speaker, it was correct in form and sound but that in itself doesn't make me a good poet.

                                               Yn araf, dw i'n oeri -- heb danwydd
                                               Er bod inni mwresogi
                                               Er ystad, daliwn ati
                                               Yn y Nant, fel Sant heb si

(I was in a little cottage in Nant Gwrtheirn in winter, and the heater had packed up -- here's the translation without the rhyme)

                                               Slowly, I am getting colder -- without fire
                                               although enthousiasm warms me
                                               Despite this state, carrying on
                                               in the Nant, like a saint, without complaining)

Audio example of an englyn (and its translation)
How the Welsh language sounds -- poet Alan Llwd answering questions about his craft and winning the Chair (the most prestigious Welsh poetry award)

and thank you, Burajirotono, for prompting me to revisit the language that stole my heart.

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Burajirotono    97

 

Sounds very cool man, this is sort like klingon to me.
Your poem is not bad at all and sure its a beautiful way to say;
"damn it  i'm froze my ass here" (and the katatsumori haicai its a nice way to say; "dont worry, its fine to be lazy, dude" hehehehe)

I consider myself very lucky for being a portuguese speaker native and hablar espanol bien, two great languages for poetry (Pessoa, Drummond,Lorca, so many great ones)

In Brasil we have a magnific poet named Paulo Leminsky who was very good with haiku. This is brilliant:

"ameixas
ame-as
ou deixe-as"

It means; "plums; love them or leave them" 

I know seems like just escatology but actually its a very clever joke with the brazilian dictatorship of the 60s and 70s and their major slogan.

I really dont speak english...Had learn some with  movies and internet and this forum its a great place to try to improve...when i get better i will try some welsh! Hehehehe

Best regards....When i was a kid i used to have a kingyo just like the one of your avatar...

 

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