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just_some_guy

Ridiculous Predictions for Kyushu 2017

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dada78641    146

Hakuho and Takakeisho give up on having a match and just do butsugari keiko for 15 minutes as the judges try to pull them off the dohyo.

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Fujisan    154

The final bout on senshuraku is a no contest after Hakuho and Harumafuji make a non-aggression pact.....

They sing "We shall not be moved" on the dohyo instead of fighting.....

They will later test positive for alcohol and will be disqualified anyway...

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Fujisan    154

Turns out the kyujo list is wrong and that Kakuryu,Takanoiwa,Ura and Chiyotoori are the only ones fit to fight at Kyushu...

A round robin tournament between the four,finishes with Chiyotoori becoming the 1st Juryo rikishi to win the Makunouchi Yusho...

Edited by Fujisan
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Yamanashi    27

* Aoiyama vs. Nishigiki: Aoiyama falls on Nishigiki at the edge of the dohyo; Nishigiki's leg falls off.  Interviewed afterward, Nishigiki states "I still haven't found my brand of sumo; I shall gambarize!"

* Shohozan, hoping to win a Gino-sho on the way to a promotion, decides he'll try to get his first win by utchari.  This doesn't go well.

* Since his last great performances have come after 8-7 or 7-8 records, Goeido decides to purposely wrestle in a lackadaisical manner, hoping to go Yusho next time.  However, after a couple of slippiotoshis and a confused tachiai by Tamawashi, he's at 11-4 and another Jun-Yusho.  His oyakata publicly tells him to "stop screwing around!"

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Fujisan    154
On 10 November 2017 at 19:02, Yamanashi said:

* Aoiyama vs. Nishigiki: Aoiyama falls on Nishigiki at the edge of the dohyo; Nishigiki's leg falls off. Interviewed afterward, Nishigiki states "I still haven't found my brand of sumo; I shall gambarize!"

 

* Aoiyama vs. Nishigiki: Aoiyama falls on Nishigiki at the edge of the dohyo; Nishigiki's leg falls off. Interviewed afterward, Nishigiki states "I still haven't found my brand of sumo or my leg."

Sorry too good to miss that one...

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Benihana    391
2 hours ago, Fujisan said:

* Aoiyama vs. Nishigiki: Aoiyama falls on Nishigiki at the edge of the dohyo; Nishigiki's leg falls off. Interviewed afterward, Nishigiki states "I still haven't found my brand of sumo or my leg."

Sorry too good to miss that one...

My first thought was not a leg falling off, it was more like what the Joker can do with a pencil...

Spoiler

 

 

Edited by Benihana

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Yamanashi    27
1 minute ago, Onibushou said:

Hattorizakura ends his losing streak.

Alas, I cannot tell whether this goes in the "ridiculous" or "impossible" thread.  Poor guy.

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McBugger    468

In a conspiracy plotted by the NSK to halt conspiratorial talks about (previously non-existent) sumo conspiracies, every single day-15 sekitori bout ends up being an explosive 20-second affair ending in a powerful shitatenage. 

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dada78641    146
10 hours ago, McBugger said:

In a conspiracy plotted by the NSK to halt conspiratorial talks about (previously non-existent) sumo conspiracies, every single day-15 sekitori bout ends up being an explosive 20-second affair ending in a powerful shitatenage. 

Or how's this, NSK announces that they are now officially no longer fixing all the matches, and Hattorizakura promptly zenshos the Makuuchi division.

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Fujisan    154
On 09 November 2017 at 03:56, Fujisan said:

 

I heard a rumour that Harumafuji and Kakuryu wont be taking part this basho because they eloped from the dohjo to get married in Las Vegas.....

Harumafuji is doing the honourable thing after he got Kakuryu pregnant...

Wedding is off...

Turns out Harumafuji  isn't the father....

Now he is trying to find out who the real father is.....

Which explains his poor performance so far because he is distracted by Kakuryus infidelity...

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Katooshu    353
On 09/11/2017 at 09:28, Fujisan said:

The final bout on senshuraku is a no contest after Hakuho and Harumafuji make a non-aggression pact.....

They sing "We shall not be moved" on the dohyo instead of fighting.....

They will later test positive for alcohol and will be disqualified anyway...

Well, seems you mightve been onto something with Harumafuji and alcohol  :-S

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Fujisan    154
49 minutes ago, Katooshu said:

Well, seems you mightve been onto something with Harumafuji and alcohol  :-S

Not quite got the meaning of "Hitting the bottle"right though has he?

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Fujisan    154

Against all the odds Harumafuji takes part in the next basho......

when he loses against a low maegasshira the audience throws beer bottles instead of zabutons......

 

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Dwale    177
On 11/8/2017 at 07:58, orandashoho said:

Aminishiki gets the yusho  (he deserves one for perseverance just like Kyokutenho did)

That would be the coolest thing I've ever seen.

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orandashoho    347
49 minutes ago, Dwale said:
On ‎11‎/‎8‎/‎2017 at 16:58, orandashoho said:

Aminishiki gets the yusho  (he deserves one for perseverance just like Kyokutenho did)

That would be the coolest thing I've ever seen.

And he is still unbeaten after the third day, without resorting to henkas as well. Who would have thought that he'd be Isegahama's best performing rikishi now?
But Myogiryu is a slightly tougher cookie tomorrow, so we'll just have to see... I'd like to see him keep up the zensho record till in the double digits!

Edited by orandashoho

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Fujisan    154

When the word gets round that Harrumafuji is kyujo on day 4 the crowd mutters in union "Whats the point?" and they all go home...

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Dwale    177
1 hour ago, orandashoho said:

And he is still unbeaten after the third day, without resorting to henkas as well. Who would have thought that he'd be Isegahama's best performing rikishi now?
But Myogiryu is a slightly tougher cookie tomorrow, so we'll just have to see... I'd like to see him keep up the zensho record till in the double digits!

I'll be cheering for him no matter what.

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orandashoho    347
8 hours ago, Dwale said:
9 hours ago, orandashoho said:

I'd like to see him keep up the zensho record till in the double digits!

I'll be cheering for him no matter what.

Me too, but 4-0 and raking in serious kensho MUST feel sweet. Even if he manages to keep a straight face doing it...as if it is all nothing and he is not aiming for a sansho now.  

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6 hours ago, orandashoho said:

Me too, but 4-0 and raking in serious kensho MUST feel sweet. Even if he manages to keep a straight face doing it...as if it is all nothing and he is not aiming for a sansho now.  

He always has a sort of "I'm just going for a little stroll in the park" expression. I'm glad to see him doing well.

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Benihana    391

Aminishiki grabs the Emperor's Cup, because his opponents are on orders to lose (Asanoyama in biiig trouble now). Media and public go crazy over their new japanese Yokozuna-hope, the Harumafuji-scandal dies a lonely and silent death.

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