Yamanashi

It's Waki Aki, And so the winner must be ... Whatshisface Shota

... which tells one that rikishi in this situation really are injured, and they're still not tiptop when they re-enter. I assume an oyakata could force a wrestler to go kyujo for the first y days because of a heya infraction, but it's the only reason I can think of that a rikishi could come back from several days off and still be a star on the dohyo.

Remember, we're looking for the absurd and bizarre, not the merely unlikely. Save the "Onosho zensho yusho!" stuff for the Yes You Heard Right This the Real Aki (September 2020) Honbasho Thread Warning Spoilers thread.

Yes, or like those wonderful old bowling-over-the-gyoji shots Kintamayama is using for his Basho video covers. I think I'd buy a framed 14 X 11 of this one for my den.

Oki -- not currently Doki.

Barrels right on through, off the dohyo, and straight into the shimpan, who was thinking about neither the possibility of an Asanoyama henka, nor a Tochinoshin leg grab, but what's for lunch and what that woman in the seventh row looks like without a mask.

OK, dang it, just one more: Day 9. Asanoyama vs Tochinoshin (Spy vs Spy). Asanoyama, aware of the masterful henka Tochinoshin pulled on Takakeisho, decides for the first time (ever?) that he will step to the right at the tachiai. Meanwhile, Tochinoshin knows that Asanoyama might be looking for another henka, but would never in a million years be expecting a Terutsuyoshi-style leg grab. At the tachiai, Tochinoshin goes for the leg, Asanoyama steps to the right, and Toch puts a shimpan in the hospital.

There are some 6-2 knockout matches tomorrow (day 9), and some 6-2 vs 5-3 matches, so somebody will fall back. With that in mind , if all possible 6-2s win and all possible 5-3s win we've got a 6-way tie for first at 7-2 and 7-way tie for second at 6-3.

Maybe the microphone wasn't working.

Mods, maybe we should close the Ridiculous Predictions Thread and rename it the September 2020 Aki Basho Documentary thread.

I have less problem with that than Tochinoshin does. If Takakeisho wants to come in at knee height, he's just begging for a little tachiai correction lecture.

[I could have quoted other sections, too, but I don't like to increase column inches on replies] My opinion (worth little): Terunofiji's Ozeki run starts now, at M1. Ex-Ozeki, screaming back to the top, etc. gets him a one-rank non-Sanyaku credit. If he takes the Tochinoshin path, the knees will tell us whether he is back for good, because now he is consistently working against top-rankers with every reason to test his health. It would be better if Hak and Kak were present, but that's the breaks. Since Kotoshogiku, Ozekis have gone Se-Se-Se or Ko-Se-Se to Ozeki with two exceptions: Tochinoshin (M3 Y, Se, Se) and Terunofuji (M2 8-7, Se, Se Y). Assuming this represents the "Current Era", he starts his Ozeki run now, and if it's a 34 vs 33 vs 32 question at the end, his Yusho at M17 would be a good "character witness" for him.

I wish he had chosen the shikona Midolari Resifa, so I could listen for Benvolance's head to explode from across the continent.

@Ichimawashi, your BS-to-plain English translation was precise yet nuanced. Bravo.

Narutobeya goes from 11-9 on day 3 to 24-10 on day 5. Better hurry and publish those think pieces on Osh's "stunning new training techniques" before they regress back toward the mean.

This is one of those games with rules so weird that either nothing comes out, or there's a miracle shikona that has five of these. Since that little imp in the back of my brain was teasing me with "well, how would you look for one of these?", I'm glad @Benevolance succumbed before I did and saved me the headache. Thanks!

Geez, Ichinojo is a "careful worker". In four days, one quick hatakikomi and three bouts over 10 seconds.

Hey, two guys called two other guys by the wrong names. Can't we just ganbarou and do our own brand of posting and announcing tomorrow?

My perception is that after having his opponent at the bales on earlier days and being unable/unwilling to go over the cliff, he tried to load a throw and got beaten. This time I think he said to himself "screw it, this guys going flying."

He is maybe more comic than serious. Reminds me of the wrastler/color men back in the day of Big Time Wrestling. BTW, can anyone give me the Japanese word for "pencil-neck"?

Boy, that Ms35 Genki sure was ... uh, er ... what's the word I want ... dang, ah never mind

And if Asanoyama isn't the quintessential baby-face, I don't know who is.

This sounds like it might be right, but it's hard to one's finger on a definite principle. If lower Makuuchi were "stable", you'd have almost no newcomers from Juryo. Assuming a consistent loss of rikishi from ranks M11-M17, say, they could leave by going up or going down. But the ones going up are replaced by upper-rankers falling, so there's no effect on Juryo; it's the ones headed down that are replaced by those rising from Juryo (I know, not Einstein-level stuff here!). However, if the risers from Juryo are the same recycled names that bounce up and down again and again, they will not have great records in Makuuchi – they've simply proven that there natural level is around the bottom of Makuuchi. It's the young fast-rising rikishi who rose quickly through Juryo who should do well in Makuuchi – they haven't hit their natural level yet, and that level is above the journeyman at the bottom of Makuuchi. They also don't have a track record to game-plan against like the "recycled guys" do.

It's tough without K's and W's.

Yes, I agree. It's interesting to put Hakuho up against TakaWakaAkebonofuji, but that's merely for fun. In spite of the eternal nature of Sumo, the externals have changed – rikishi and the society around them have changed. Even training methods have changed. That's also part of the fun. But you are Yokozuna because you consistently frustrate the ambitions of the Sanyaku. You get to be Ozeki because even if you don't often win Yusho you consistently perform at a high level. Everyone else is trying to get to Sekiwake and take their shot.