Benevolance

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Everything posted by Benevolance

  1. Benevolance

    Hatsu Basho 2019 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    Okay, new up-and-comers, yay. But the real news this tournament is that for the first time in, like, 2019, Goeidou was one of the top performing Ozeki/Yokozuna. Being one win off Hakuho's pace isn't shabby, not to mention stealing a victory from the dai-yokozuna himself. And, hey, how about that kachi koshi? #goeidouwatch2019
  2. Benevolance

    Hatsu Basho 2019 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    I could see the reticence for promoting Takakeisho, since in his 9-6 result at Komusubi he failed to beat anyone of merit among the joi. But if he grabs another yusho here, I think that makes a strong case that there are no longer people of merit in the joi, and the NSK should crown him and give him truffles and coca cola for life. Or a year. Whichever comes first, really.
  3. Benevolance

    Hatsu Basho 2019 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    That's the only conceivable way that Gagamaru could pull off a wicked awesome win like that.
  4. Benevolance

    Acceptable Ozeki Record?

    Takanohana deleted the thread with a karaoke remote and blamed it on Harumafuji because of the OBSC. Also, the answer is 8 wins, but it should be 10 wins; therefore, 9 wins is acceptable, except for when it's 11 wins to qualify.
  5. Benevolance

    Hatsu Basho 2019 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    They let some rikishi fight despite them only having a single decent move, so they ought to let a rikishi fight with only a single decent eye. It's only fair.
  6. Benevolance

    Hatsu Basho 2019 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    Man, I got here late. All the good comments are taken.
  7. Benevolance

    Takanoiwa hits his tsukebito

    He couldn't possibly do worse that Osunaarashi.
  8. Benevolance

    Takanoiwa hits his tsukebito

    Maybe they'll retire Takanohana a second time for good measure.
  9. Benevolance

    Kyushu Basho 2018 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    That would be absolutely awesome.
  10. Benevolance

    Takanohana resigns

    You cannot truly appreciate Sumo until you've heard it in the original Klingon.
  11. Benevolance

    Trivia bits

    Takanohana completed his oyakata tenure way before anyone else, too. Frickin' over-achiever.
  12. Benevolance

    Kyushu Basho 2018 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    Yes, this was at the Fukuoka tournament; I've never been able to get box seat tickets in Tokyo.
  13. Benevolance

    Kyushu Basho 2018 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    I seem to recall that the zabuton in the box seats were connected together with sturdy fabric strips, which makes the set of 4 cushions a bit like a single, flimsy 4' x 4' cushion that is seriously lacking aerodynamics. You would have to get everyone to stand up at the same time (difficult, after an afternoon of drinking!) and somehow throw an object more akin to a floppy sun hat than a discus. You'd probably only be able to lob it as far as the people sitting in directly front of you. And they'd have a pretty good idea who did it. And you'd be forced to abase yourself for twenty minutes while the spokes guy from the box in front of you rubbed the back of his head and tersely dismissed your apologies with "nnnn, soooo" and the occasional sharp inhalation through his teeth. Meanwhile, he's holding what is clearly your pillow, because your box is the only box with all its pillows missing. And when he looks pointedly at your empty floor, you'd quickly make some excuse about having sent your pillow out for dry cleaning earlier in the match, and you obviously cringe at the complete lameness of the excuse even as you make it, and so you're actually relieved when Shikoroyama oyakata arrives flanked by two security guards to inform you of a lifetime ban from...wait. I didn't mean for this to sound quite so incriminating.
  14. Benevolance

    Kyushu Basho 2018 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    I have seen gyoji do exactly that, but it usually requires one of the rikishi to be clearly futzing around with the mattas. In sandanme, Masunoyama got sidestepped not once, but *twice* in his matchup today, and almost decided the next match by crushing the judge and rikishi waiting. Well, okay. Not quite. But Narutaki sidestepped Masunoyama at the tachi-ai, and gave him a shove that failed to move Masunoyama very far. When Masunoyama came back, Narutaki did mostly the exact same thing, but wasn't taking any chances second time around and the shove with which he ejected Masunoyama from the dohyo was impressive and decisive. On Abema, given how much time it took Masunoyama to return to the screen, it looked like he'd been flung into the bleachers. As the pause grew, I was asking, "Is he hurt?", "Did his heart finally give out?" or "Does he have to wait for the elevator down?" But alas, another angle reveals that he barely cleared the judge ringside and took a long time to return because of the necessary apologies ringside. Correction: Masunoyama is in sandanme, not makushita.
  15. Benevolance

    Kyushu Basho 2018 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    Would they really give him someone so far down the banzuke, though? Aoiyama is the only one of those with credible time in the meat grinder, and I would think they'd try to find a rikishi ranked higher up that's risking makekoshi.
  16. Benevolance

    Kyushu Basho 2018 Discussion [SPOILERS]

    I don't think Goeidou was expecting this much competition for second place.
  17. Benevolance

    Hakuhou injured-Kyushu crisis looms

    Gah! I can't believe Goeidou managed to screw this up!
  18. Benevolance

    Hakuhou injured-Kyushu crisis looms

    Oh yeah, that totally counts. I hadn't considered that scenario; I scanned specifically for absentee losses. Assuming he faced Goeidou on day 14 in this scenario, defeated him to end his yusho chance, and then withdrew, that would also be delicious.
  19. Benevolance

    Hakuhou injured-Kyushu crisis looms

    I couldn't stop thinking about this scenario. I can find only one instance of a makuuchi yusho won by a kyujo rikishi: Wajima in Kyushu 1973. Could Hakuho makes it happen in Kyushu 2018? I mean, on paper, the current joi doesn't appear very threatening. The last few matchups Hakuho has faced Goeidou on day 14. Let's say Hak goes 12-0, then declares kyujo on day 12 or 13. He probably gives Kise a YBSC fusen gift and denies Goeidou his fusen win, he skips even facing Goeidou, and yet still takes home yusho 42. Ka-pow! A delicious conspiracy chanko* is served. *Caution: chanko may contain nuts.
  20. Benevolance

    Hakuhou injured-Kyushu crisis looms

    It's a feint. He's just trolling Goeidou.
  21. Benevolance

    Preparations of the Y/O Kyushu 2018

    Okay, Goeidou. Everyone else is basically out. The jun-yusho is yours!
  22. Benevolance

    Preparations of the masses-Kyusho 2018

    Are you stating your expectations of O1W Takayasu's future prospects by dumping him in with the rank and file?
  23. Benevolance

    Weeks between Honbasho

    That would probably be the least boring inter-basho EVER.
  24. Benevolance

    Hakuhou injured-Kyushu crisis looms

    He does still need another 55 consecutive wins to secure the "Longest Winning Streak" record and it's unlikely that Kise can stop him now.
  25. Benevolance

    Hakuhou injured-Kyushu crisis looms

    Since they can no longer rely on the "Takanohana" effect to drive ticket sales for Kyushu, they must rely on the "Dai-Yokozuna Coming Off A Zensho But Following Endoscopic Surgery That Will Level The Playing Field A Little (Ha Ha Just Kidding Hak Will Win If He Wants)" effect. The Germans probably have a word for this exact, specific circumstance.